Journey of Self Determination or: How To Regain Controll of My Universe By Letting Go

There always seems to come a moment when a person realizes they have to move on and, at times, this is known but ignored.  But, what if this is known but ignored?  Hope, my friends, can be a very dangerous thing.  Sometimes you have to take a step back and look at the situation objectively.

                At this very moment I am sitting in a seat that is hurtling through the sky at 36,000 feet.  I am headed to Vancouver British Columbia.  I decided about a month ago that I was going to take a trip and here I am.  I am going to this city for, for what?  Adventure, self discovery, to get laid, I’m not really sure.  I do know that I have basically no idea what is in store for me, except for the idea of simply meeting people and experiencing “things”.

                Last night I was sitting in a smoky bar with a very dear friend of mine and after complaining about recent events I thought “what the hell is wrong with you?  You are an amazing person and people love you, even the people that don’t like you love you!”  It was at that moment that I made a vow to myself to go out and be happy and enjoy myself and all the people and “things” that I encounter.

                In about an hour I will walk off of this plane and onto Canadian soil and with that revelation in mind I will explore this new city.  Fuck being sad, screw sulking around, I am an amazing individual; I am going to succeed at anything I try.  Now, let’s go exploring!!!

This was written on the plane to Vancouver

The Following was written on the plane out of Vancouver, just after the Canadian government denied me entry...

Today I saw what was perhaps one of the most beautiful sights that I have ever had the fortune to behold.  It was as I sat, once again, at 35,000 feet in the sky, this time though returning from Vancouver, and yes it is the same day as the last flight.  What was this vision of beauty?  It was the northern coast of California blanketed by a mix of fog and a sunset that had all the colors of the rainbow; amazing.

                Why, though, am I returning from Vancouver so soon?  Wasn’t this to be the trip where I experience the greatness of both “things” and people?  Wasn’t this to be the trip where I crashed on random people’s couches?  Wasn’t this to be the week of backpacking, homelessness and possible debauchery, in Canada?

                Well yes, unfortunately the Canadian government didn’t like the idea of me being a bum in this their most precious and beautiful city.  So here I am, back on a plane and heading to the city that I almost stayed in the first place.

                Actually, though, I almost got discouraged and headed back to Texas.  Fortunately for me though I got a window seat and a free glass of wine from the flight attendant! 

                Yes, you did indeed hear right, I almost gave up and headed home, hard to believe, I know, especially after reading my previous post.  But yes my dear readers, even I, the Eternal Optimist, gets discouraged sometimes.

                However, I return to Golden Frisco with renewed spirits, thanks in part to distilled spirits, with a new energy.  I am taking this as an opportunity to do exactly what I set out to do; meet people, experience life, and think on my feet and to make the most of EVERY situation that comes in front of me.

                So tonight, dear readers, as you settle into whatever it is that you do at night I will be settling in to a night in the airport terminal.  Waiting for the sun to once again rise and bring in the warmth, and in this case fog and start my day.  Where will I end up tomorrow?  What will I get into?  Walks on the beach, a stroll across the Golden Gate Bridge, maybe even a picnic on one of Frisco’s famous Tar Beaches?

                Goodnight!